so supposedly when people experience epic recurring dreams, it's the subconscious mind using symbols and images to relay an important message to the person dreaming..and we keep having these dreams until some problem or conflict is resolved. for example, i used to always(2-3 times a week) dream of being in a field..it was always the same exact field and it felt like a very familiar field..but i'm always running from something in the field..not because it's going to hurt me but because i don't want to be found. i think at that time there was something i felt really guilty about? or something i was hiding? but anyway, after i came clean about whatever it was, i stopped having those dreams.
and i feel like its somehow not completely unbelievable that dreams are exact images from a person's life in some parallel universe where what could not be possible in this universe IS possible and vice versa..even though running through a field isn't very unrealistic. BUT since electrons can be in many places at once that the same electrons that make up the actions we do are passing through universes and get lost in subconscious thoughts when coming into the different universe. kind of like being able to see the future..or being psychic..which is basically like dreaming with your eyes open..unless they close their eyes, too?
So anyway i guess what i'm getting at is that since dreams repeat to try to convince someone to change something that they're doing..maybe "history repeats itself" for the same reason..i mean that's obvious..but i dunno i guess i'm just trying to somehow relate it to a parallel universe and i'm not doing very well so far..oh well. i'm tired.
speaking of recurring things and history repeating itself. what the fuck. what is wrong with me? i can let things go so well..and always have been able to get over something SO easily..especially when i'm SURE it's going to work and be really great in the end. but when does letting something go and getting over it turn into just being stupid and blind? SHIT i can't be the only person trying to make something work. Like..do not make me think everything is going to be great and then blatantly ignore me for days at a time and leave me to worry and sit alone at home so you can go party and fuck around? No, no, no, that's NOT love..that doesn't work..But no it's me who always does everything wrong, i'm the crazy lying bitch..but really it's my fault for thinking someone actually could change when a month ago the EXACT same thing happened and a month before that and a week before that and a week before that and 5 months before that..hmm. Yep. I'm insane. That's what i get for allowing myself to care about another person.
Like if someone who "loves me" is just gonna pretend like i'm not alive for ANY amount of time..it's SO not worth it. My life is too short to wait around for someone who wouldn't wait around for me. So why shouldn't i go do what i want and not give a fuck about anyone but myself? I'm just so fed up with girls who sit and let BOYS make them sad, yell and call them names, tell them they're crazy??, and try to control their lives. Boys who ONCE long, long ago showed her all the love in the world and made her the happiest girl alive..and that one little moment negates all of the present simultaneous abusive treatment. But it is SO not worth the time and pain now to hope that one day that little moment of happiness will return. Live your fucking life. Make yourself happy..and NEVER let someone else take your happiness away. that's comparable to a federal offense i think.
I have too many friends that i LOVE that are wasting their time on undeserving boys..and i know it's incredibly hypocritical of ME to tell anyone they're wasting their time and they need to just get over it but damn..i know i can only take so much constantly being let down..and for what?? what is the point? i've far past reached my breaking point. i've gone completely out of mind and back and i will NOT let myself be reduced to that again under any circumstance. nor do i ever want to see one of my bffs come that point either. or anyone i love for that matter.
I think i'm done venting my frustration. I'm just trying to live my life
merry christmas!
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3 comments:
Hi Ginny, i found u and your blog funny and interesting! So i thought i should leave my 2 cents.
Dreams being reality in a parallel universe make complete sense to me! If electrons can whip in and out of our space-time, it makes sense that they could appear in different universes. Even different times in different universes, or different times in the same universe for that matter. Have you ever had intense De Ja Vu that you were sure you dreamed before? I think that with entanglement and superposition we get psychic ability. If everything is physically connected and connected forward and backward in time then surly psychic abilities make sense.
As for your boy troubles, yep most guys are assholes, and girls natually pick the assholes first! Its not your fault, all girls do it Worldwide! The kind of guys your attracted to, have lots of girls attracted to them. Nomatter what they say they're playing the game. You should try the shy quieter guys they often have more to say if you get to know em. At least watch out for players :p
I found your blog looking for a reference or source for this quote "the heavens swirl above us and our eyes are still cast to the ground" is it Dante? Beautiful and so true! Although we're doing better now.
Technically the quote is "Heaven wheels above you, displaying to you her eternal glories, and still your eyes are on the ground" and it's from Dante's Divine Comedy. What is above is a paraphrase by Vanna Bonta from the Histroy Channels' special The Universe: Sex in Space.
or "The heavens are calling you, and wheel around you, Displaying to you their eternal beauties, And still your eye is looking on the ground;"
Because it is translated from a different language it is slightly different depending on the translator but yes that one up top is a Vanna paraphrase of Dante
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